Why it is worth saying hello again

After a long silence, it is often difficult to contact old acquaintances. But it doesn't have to: Usually the joy of the surprising news is greater than expected.

Viele Freunde verlieren einander mit der Zeit aus den Augen. Sei es, weil man in eine neue Stadt zieht, zu wenig Zeit hat oder – wie in den letzten Jahren – eine Pandemie zum Verzicht gezwungen ist. Häufig übersieht man das schlechte Gewissen, und man meldet sich lieber gar nicht, als eine täuschende Antwort zu riskieren. Doch die Angst ist oft unbegründet, wie eine Versuchsreihe eines Teams um Peggy Liu von der University of Pittsburgh nahelegt. In neun Experimenten mit knapp 5000 Versuchspersonen wiederholte sich ein Muster: Man unterschätzt, wie sehr sich Freunde und Bekannte freuen, wenn man sich bei ihnen meldet. Ihre Ergebnisse haben die Forschenden nun im Fachmagazin «Journal für Persönlichkeits- und Sozialpsychologie" vorgestellt.

In some experiments, the test subjects should give a short message or a small gift to friends or loose acquaintances and assess how much the recipients would be happy about this gesture. In turn, these stated how much they appreciated the contact. In other experiments, the participants should mentally put themselves into one of the two roles.

The greater the effect, the more surprising the contact was, for example, if it was more of a loose acquaintance than a deep friendship. If the message was completely expected – as, for example, in the context of a mentoring program – the senders rather correctly estimated the reaction of the recipients. The researchers believe that people do not put themselves in the shoes of the addressee when they ask themselves whether they should contact them again. Accordingly, they do not take into account the positive surprise effect.

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